A New Solution I Give Unto You

In the spring of 1956 a middle-aged father (only 36 years of age) went to chaperone his son's high school dance. As he and his wife Helen began to prepare themselves for this opulent event, this father, Nicholas McKay, Sr. (affectionately called Nick, but not by me because I never met him), needed to look dapper. He needed to clean his suit. So he took some masking tape and a paper roll and some wire to revolutionarily clean the lint (and no doubt his wife's hairs) from his suit.


Nicholas McKay, Sr.
This story may seem just like any other story. But it's actually really much better than any other story. Because it was from this monumental event that Nicholas McKay, Sr. conceived the idea of a lint roller.


Now, many American homes have lint rollers, and are much better for it!


A lint roller or lint remover, as we know it today, is a roll of one-sided adhesive paper on a cardboard or plastic barrel that is mounted on a central spindle, with an attached handle. The device facilitates the removal of lint or other small fibers (such as beautiful blonde hair) from most materials such as clothing, upholstery and linen (and also red bed sheets).


The solution is in the lint roller. See this happy fella:



Comments

  1. UnknownAugust 10, 2017 at 5:05 PM

    First of all, the people of Cassie Wood deserve what I typically refer to as "mad props" for using the word "revolutionarily" and should consider making Ever Revolutionarily the band name.

    Secondly, after reading this article in its entirety, we have concluded that Nicholas Mackay, Sr. is an American patriot and deserves all laud and honor we can possibly bestow. Since we don't know an exact date of his development of the lint roller, we will be forced to celebrate his courage and ingenuity for the entirety of the spring season.

    Finally, we'd like to call to your attention that "said fella," the Man With Everything, seems to lack one crucial thing: an actual lint problem. The sports coat and lint roller he is using appear to be untouched by the beautiful hair of his (what we assume to be) many blonde lovers, let alone any dust or lint. Despite his charming demeanor, he is not to be trusted.

    Nevertheless, we discussed it and decided that your new nickname is Cassie Good! because this is a good idea — one of many you have had. This very evening, it is likely that the party of Robby Poffenbergreat will purchase the finest lint roller in all the land.

    Yours (professionally),
    The Office of Your Sleeping Buddy

    ReplyDelete
  2. CassidyAugust 14, 2017 at 8:15 AM

    It's a great word. I would know, I invented it. People are so pretentious about the modern and unofficial invention of words but that ignorant way of thinking simply does not understand linguistics and the purpose of language. Bite me. And sure, that can be the band name. I approve.

    He's worth celebrating for a season and not just a day regardless. Nicholas McKay, Sr. is like Christmas that way.

    Professionally yours,
    Cassie Good!

    ReplyDelete

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